And so it's that foreboding time again, when we knock years off our life expectancy traipsing around shops and jumping from website to website desperately attempting to locate gifts for our nearest and dearest that will satisfy them, avoid us losing face whilst also maintaining whatever degree of solvency we hold in this current financial gloom.
I realise not everyone celebrates Christmas, and not everyone will be buying gifts during this period, but I will, and this is my blog, so please indulge me. Besides, for those who are in a similar position to me, it's tricky, and I'm here to help...
Now, an ideal Christmas present, you'd think, from a football design point of view, would be a football shirt. Sadly, this isn't necessarily the case. The marketing geniuses that run football clubs' merchandising wings have an unhelpful knack of allowing several sizes of most popular new shirts to go out of stock by mid-September. So whilst I'm sure I'll compile my kits of the 2012-13 season at some point, that won't really help us as you can't get hold of them.
Instead I'll list some items, which should still be available, but mark this season as a point of interest rather than simply look pretty. They are the, breaking from tradition...
- Black Celtic Home socks
- Blue Olympique de Marseille Home socks (website not verified)
and, last and possibly least
The lattermost item may be controversial but it's likely to still be on sale in every size the club's owners can procure (edit - it's actually out of stock (!) but has a "delivery date TBC" message attached) and, let's face it, once they deliver their Bobby Ewing in the shower moment and return to blue, you're gonna wish you had got yourself a piece of that crazy design decision pie. To its credit, it's actually not bad...as template-happy desecrations of tradition and history go.
One more controversial shirt that's bound to still be on sale - because it's only just been released - would be perfect for the rebel in the family (we all have one)...
- The new Catalunya shirt (unverified website)
On first glance it appeared to be merely the work of a - perhaps Madrid-based - graphic designer either chancing his arm or having recently transferred from Astore's 90s goalkeeper shirts department. It was regarded by some as "the ugliest football shirt ever" but on closer inspection - don't worry, we've done it for you - it appears to heavily nod towards the never stronger Catalan campaign for independence in its use of blue, which also appears on the separatist Catalan flag, the Estelada - handily also bastardised as an Astore seal at the bottom. You might not like the look of it but when Catalunya are beating England in Euro 2016 qualifying you'll wish you'd snapped up the shirt they were wearing when Uefa and Fifa-ratification came. And if you still can't handle it then the marvelous socks should be a thrifty alternative.
Another option is to look a bit further into the past. Everyone knows modern football's rubbish - in an infinitely-better-than-any-football-that-preceded-it way - so if we go riiiiight back to 2009, we have a true rarity, even a uniquity (doesn't mean that. Doesn't matter) in the football design sphere:
Yes, you've read that right. The only people that stock it now, in various forms, are classicfootballshirts.co.uk. They do loads of other stuff too, at a whole range of prices, so are ideal for Christmas presents. But be warned, once you're on the site you won't leave for six hours. Yep, six. The other day they even had a match worn example of the German flag-styled Birmingham shirt, which went for £500. It's rare to suggest that a monkey for a poorly manufactured piece of gaudy fabric is a bargain but in this case it certainly seems to be just that.
Still in the realms of the classic football designs, the England 1982 World Cup shirt is one of the most sought after of all time, but it's rare and, once located, it's expensive. Two handy alternatives are the FA-trademark-dodging...
and the...
If that wasn't nerdy and retrospective enough for you, Subbuteo is back. Sadly, in this modern world of intellectual property lawyers and ever more evil sportswear giants, it's very unlikely many of the newly released official packs will bear much of a resemblance to the kits of the teams they represent (and Flick to Kick seems just a little bit too good to be true, but watch this space). However, our good friends The Football Attic put together the...
and the...
Celebrating the mediocre photoshop talents of some of the internet's most distinguished/persistent/sporadic (delete as applicable) bloggers as each site's fantasy football kit is presented in Subbuteo figure form. If you'd like their names and respective kit designs to adorn your wall/desk drawer then head over and bag yourself a copy of each. In fairness, it's a particularly good present for someone who actually contributes to one of the blogs, though somewhat random for anyone who doesn't, but don't let me stop you.
Still on Subbuteo, earlier this year we featured the incredible...
which recreates some of football history's most iconic moments in Subbuteo figure form. Even if football managers in familar poses, Scorpion-kicking goalkeepers, awkward handshakes and whatever else has already been produced isn't your, or your intended recipient's, cup of tea, requests are welcomed. Perhaps a League of Blogs member could get a 3D version of their figure to go with their poster and sticker book.
For a classy, probably more socially acceptable gift for a football design geek, then check out the work of...
Despite personally taking issue with his use of Parisien iconography to depict the Marseillais Zinedine Zidane, his posters are utterly brilliant and would look fantastic in an open-plan warehouse loft conversion riverside apartment in East London, if such a thing indeed exists. Ditto...
Speaking of great depictions of football design, if you're reading this you no doubt already own John Devlin's...
and...
But now it's time to educate a friend or family member. As a comprehensive collection of English football kit designs beautifully rendered there's nothing better in print. But if you're looking for some scarier bedtime reading then...
is a fabulous stocking filler too, and comes signed by the man himself!
A little pricier but brilliant all the same, for stadium design fans we have the...
Frankly, that's superb. But they really should re-release it with the capability to light up yellow too.
Finally, why would I not plug DF partner...
With an ever-growing catalogue of designs, and the freedom to add one's own escribblings - and potentially have that escribbling go on sale to earn yourself money while you're at it - it's the t-shirt site that can put some of the world's most talented football-themed designers below the Christmas tree. What more can we ask for?
So that's that. I'm sure you'll agree that I've included ideas for most budgets and even if there's nothing suitable for your giftees - it's naturally a list of stuff I want, first and foremost - then I'd hope it's got your imagination going and lifted any present buyers' block you may be experiencing. It may seem tough but together we'll get through this. Boxing Day is just 23 days away...
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